Saturday, April 10, 2010


Just another session of ramblings.

So this may be irrelavent to what you might have in mind, and what you might find interest in. After all, a blog's like my bolster. I sleep with it, but halfway through, I tend to snore, mumble, sleeptalk, have nightmares, and it'll end up on the other side of the room after going through a series of dreams where I kung-fu the crap out of it.

Or had an erotic dream and humped it off my bed. Can't say wet dreams because I don't get wet dreams.

Other than that, I might be suffering from certain DPS. Dipshitty Procrastination Syndrome. Or, it could also mean Dancing Prostitute Syndrome - whichever makes you happy. But for my case, I pretty much hate writer's blocks, and procrastination when it comes to studies and assignments.

One reason I hate 3rd year subjects is that when we do studies about a certain subject - let's say.. Finance, or subject pricing in general, I'm still stuck with the Malaysian economy and banking systems. Frankly, the banks there work easier and less complex on how the Australian system really works.

Then again, Malaysian systems are pretty outdated and they don't really overperform or do much to benefit the government, market and the economy.

That's why it's not complex, and that's why we don't learn much. And my lecturer in KDU PG once told me that working in a bank is not worth the salary. My cousin seems to be doing pretty darn well in KL. And the bankers in UK, although facing plenty of major credit crisis, have earned themselves several Lamborghini Murcielago(s) during the Christmas break in 2006. And those Lambos were based on their bonuses ONLY.

And yes, that brings me to the short amount of period and time to really study on how banks really work. Besides on attaining information about what banks there are, the interest rates, etc, would be child's play. Just walk into a bank, do a survey and ask around on what's up.

But on how the bank performs, politics, goverment bodies, ties, market performance and plenty others, takes about years of observation.

It would take months, but months - I'd give myself 6 months.

Actually, I'd give myself none apparently, because I'm completely hopeless when it comes to banks. Accounting still has a slight hope, and I definitely will score for watching House.

Now, looking on what JoeyShinoda does on her essays and studies makes me envious. She finishes whatever she does, and has countless reminders of what she needs to do.

The only reminders I have is to pay back for the goods purchased for the house and the plans to get an iPhone.

But where are the reminders for my studies, journals, and proper references that I should be really paying attention to when it's interrelated to my assignment?

Apparently, my brain's been a bit too rusty due to working semi-full time during my 6 month break. And what I feared may have come true.

What happened to self-confidence, determination and motivation? I seemed to have lost that all at once. I go to class with a blank mind, and I just listen - trying to understand and cope, but will lose track eventually. Econometrics proved my point on this. Banking and Financial Institutions is just another session at the library - you have all the materials, but you don't see where the basic subjects are - or you're just not looking hard enough. Management would still be management. A stale, dead, studious subject that anybody can master, as long as you read, and understand it.

Management's simple what. Kiss someone's ass, and you'll get promoted and favoured. Share your critical thoughts, and you'll be respected and followed. Share more thoughts, and you'll get politically hated.

Accounting? I can share 3 secrets with you. Debit, credit, and a calculator. If everything doesn't balance off, read the questions and fineprints even more detailled. Also, Gregory House would've said you're an idiot.

But who is the bigger idiot? The one that attempts to do the question and nearly solves it with mistakes, or the one who attempts and is unable to get anything done. Or even to get a hypothesis out.

It is pretty depressing thinking about how life really goes. What's even more sad is that sometimes, I don't really even bother with efforts, which would result to 0% progress, and that leads to being a failure.

Nobody likes a failure. And if I fail at something, I wouldn't look myself the same way that I would every morning.

Sometimes, I feel like I've lost everyhing. But then again, let's not forget ta gliondar sa saol cuardaimis e, shall we?

Ta gliondar sa saol cuardaimis e

Edit: Guess what I found during the H4K meeting just now?


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