I have mood swings, yes and no. Maybe. I can control my emotions until a certain point.
Take a balloon for example. Inflate it, until you know you're going to burst it. But leave it as it is.
There are 3 decisions now.
- Either you let it be for it to lose its air, which is the best alternative.
- You take a needle and burst it.
- Or you inflate it more with your mouth until it blows up in your face.
If some people were smart enough, they'd take the needle, burst it, and run as far as possible.
But idiots, apparently, they'd blow the balloon until it bursts, and you don't need a PhD in this to notice that you knew it was going to blow. The only difference is, they didn't know even if the balloon were to be bigger and longer than their grandmother's sagged breasts.
When I want to be alone, I WANT to be alone. I have my times when to hang out, and when NOT to hang out. Let me make my statement clear. ESPECIALLY IF I WERE TO BE LIVING WITH PEOPLE. Or should I just fucking disappear like what I've been doing. It doesn't benefit you, definitely. One person less in your life is just a fucking relief, but I can tell you one thing. I'd focus and I get MY objectives all stated out and clear.
So call me unsocial, or whatever it is. Why don't you socialise during a volcano eruption and not figure out ways to escape. After all, friends friends mahhhhh.
I socialise pretty well, and my friends know that. Work hard, play hard. Not play hard, and play harder.
Besides, in my dictionary, sorry for being offensive in any aspect or ways, I don't mind gaining or losing friends. If you want to talk about relationships, let's say I'm a failure. After all, there's a reason why they'd leave me and get along with someone new.
Expecting me to whine by the streets under the rain while waiting for them to come back? Fuck that shit, man. I'd make friends, and if they don't want to make friends, that's their problem.
That's why I'm bold enough to go against friends who are not directly connected to me. For example, the housemate. Friend-friend mah doesn't apply on me. If you have an issue with my attitude, you tell me, and I'll make you hate me even more.
Which reminds me of my ex-supervisor back in Starbucks. He's the person I hated to work with most of the time, until a point, I had fucking issues with his attitude until he took note. So he dragged me to the back, and asked a simple question.
"Do you have a problem with me?"
I answered under a second, and here're the decisions:
1) I'd answer yes. Although I'm risking my job, reputation and my hours for shifts, at least I got things sorted out with him.
2) I'd answer no. I'd just lie, and have him stomp all over me and kiss his ass with full grace with no dignity.
What'd you think? He's my superior. He shouldn't have asked that question but instead of decision 1 & 2, I went..
"Yes, I have a lot of issues with you, actually."
So that's decision 1 x infinite. You wouldn't want to know what I blabbed at him, but I definitely turned the tables against him. And that's one-on-one.
Friend-friend mahhhh. Fuck that shit, man. I don't have the mentality of a Malaysian, mind-fucking-you.
I've told my brother before, if it were to certain things right and there's a sacrifice to be made, I'd do it and he can save his own face if he wants to.
It's who I am, so if other people can get along well with me, the problem lies in you.
Don't forget; the world doesn't revolve around you. You revolve with the world, so stop acting like you own a fucking kingdom.
And you'd know when I'd be a proud father to my childrens when they bury me 6 feet under without tears. It's not like I'm going to come back from the dead with their tears, prayers and hopes, anyway. If I'm dead, I'm dead already. Just set a guitar on fire and make sure I receive it in heaven. Or hell. Doesn't matter because we're already dead. I'd rather be alive and playing the guitar. Immortality would be awesome.