When Someone Trespasses..

The things that I should do; very soon.

While waiting and sucessfully in catching them red handed:

1. Surprise him that you've been waiting for him.
2. Shut the door.
3. Beat the crap out of him with everything in sight.
4. THEN ask him what he was doing.

or

1. Leave the lights off, but the eyes on.
2. As he enters, these words should be spoken: "Eh, ko tau dalam rumah ni, ada masalah pencuri ke? Bukan orang luar lagi, dow"
3. Get him out of the room.
4. Beat the shit out of him with everything in sight.
   PS. Kitchen's the best area because there're plenty of tools there to be used. E.g. dropping a gas canister on his toes.
5. Interrogate him regarding of his past sins.
6. Act really shocked if he admits.
7. Lecture him.
8. Beat the crap out of him.
9. Lecture him again.
10. Beat the crap out of him again.

or

1. Repeat step 1 - 5, except for 4.
2. Make a deal with him that his girlfriend should be raped because the amount of items he had taken valued up to 6 prostitute visits per night at an average price.
3. Rape the girlfriend - even if he disagrees.

or

1. Go straight to his car and smash the (or all - optional) windscreen with a hammer.

or

1. Puncture all tyres so that he'll damage the tyre rims instead. Those things are expensive.

or

1. Put 20 panadol pills in their Coca-Cola bottle when they're not around.

or

1. Set their clothes on fire

or

1. Set their shoes on fire.

or

1. Dream of sadistic stuff, and see how you can apply them to them.

I can go on all day .. I'm just waiting for him to trip, that's all.